Establishing a Healthier Relationship between Work and Life
May 4th 2021 was when I published my last post; fast forward almost 2 years later, I am back to writing words on this blog. It feels like Deja-vu, same seat, same keyboard, same computer, and the same struggles to find the grand purpose to life. Just like the countless of us in the world, I am still in the endless pursuit for the “Next Thing,” hoping it would make me content with where I am at in life.
The previous two years has been bitter-sweetly eventful. I joined a new company and propelled my career growth. I went through 2 promotions, bought a new car, doubled my income, and on the verge of moving to a new city for a new job. All these achievements that I thought would make me happier, I found myself still staring out of the windows at times wondering if this is the model of life for the next 35 years. Today, as I am writing this on April 24th of 2023, the realization of the toxic relationship I have built with work in the last two years finally hit me.
My fast growth in income and career in the last two years came at a hefty cost: working long hours of 12 hours a day, continue digging for more information on how to be better when I get home or over the weekend, taking on big projects to broaden my scope. All that “Going Above and Beyond” paid off in terms of compensation, recognition, and status. However, today, as I went into work with food poisoning just to quickly come home an hour later, I was met with the expressions of disappointment and frustration from my boss. This makes me wonder, “Is this the cost of being a top talent?”
After a not-so-comfortable 40 minutes’ drive home, I laid on my bed, resting, scrolling through the feed of LinkedIn, I saw that the mass layoffs sweeping across the nation due to the downturn of the economic environment continues. I realized the expendable nature of a job, and what we put at stake each day to try to push for the next opportunity, pay-raise, or promotion. Many of us work to provide for our family, but many of us sacrifice our family for work?
I am not the guy who shouts “woe is me,” I am very fortunate to be given the opportunity I have gotten and am extremely grateful for those who have supported my growth as a professional. To still be in the position I am in today in the current economic status, I consider myself one of the lucky ones. To a certain degree, my over-dedication on work is self-inflicted. I took pride in not calling off in the last 4 and a half years, but I probably should have seen that as a red flag.
Back track to the title of this blog post, Establishing a Healthy Relationship between Work and Life, I am committing to the following 3 principles and I also encourage you to do so too:
Prioritize Your Physical and Mental Well-being: Whether it is in the form of taking mental health days, taking regular walks during break at work, or just chatting it up with a friend or coworker in the break room: take the time to put your well-being first, you will quickly realize what last vs. what fades.
Take Regular Time Off: Work will always be there, and chances are, work will go on with or without you. Don’t let work engulf your life entirely. Take vacation not to escape from life, but so life doesn’t escape from you. Go to Hawaii, Greece, Japan, whatever it might be, go see the world and explore cultures. You will learned how the “metrics” you care so much at work, doesn’t really matter that much anymore.
Make Work Meaningful: Whatever industry you might work in, find meaning in what you do. For me personally, the driving force is helping others. By participating in altruistic events, helping other people and my direct reported get promoted, this is what allow me to see work more than just a paycheck. Paychecks comes and goes, but your affect on people and their family can last a lifetime.
At the end of the day, we are all human beings trying to “make it” whether by the means of money, status, or even happiness. My concluding advice to anyone reading this is to remember why you wake up and go to work everyday. Is it to provide for your family? Bring status to your household? Or even just for the recognition from the public. Whatever it might be, do know that it is not possible with a tired body and a broken mind. “Put your oxygen mask on first before helping others.” You can only achieve whatever you want to achieve in your life if you still have life in yourself.
