Finding the Purpose, Finding the Life
A few weeks ago, during my not-often-enough video chat with my cousins, who are also my closest friends, Kevin and Jordan, we started to catch up on some of the things that are happening in our lives and also some obstacles we encountered. Kevin, who is currently a graduate student studying Civil Engineering at one of the most prestigious universities in Taiwan —Cheng Kung University, brought up a surprising yet relatable concern. Kevin, who is often seen as the smartest guy in the room and "has his sh*t figured out," is actually struggling to find the purpose in what he is doing. His lack of direction in terms of career and his disengagement with the material he is learning are his biggest factors in him not knowing if he is doing the right thing, or if "he is doing life correctly."
As the oldest among the three of us, I have a tendency to gravitate towards the role of being the problem solver for us, but honestly, finding the purpose of our lives is a mystery and an adventure that puzzles most of us for the majority of our lives. The truth is: almost none of us has our sh*t figured out.
My Issue with Past Practice
Another thing that Kevin brought up that baffled me is that when he talks about his struggles with his friends, he was met with the answer, "You just have too much time in your hands, once you graduate, get a job, the thought of finding purpose will never cross your mind." Though this may be true for that particular person, I personally find this answer to be too complacent to be valid.
The logic behind this ideology is the Meaningless Past-Practice of Work-Life. In which you work, get off work, relax, and repeat for five days a week while longing for the weekend. It becomes the hamster wheel that never stops turning until you are 65, retired, and regret over the things you didn't do, or the dreams you didn't try to make into a reality. In the end, if you really think about it, this "hamster wheel" is relatively discouraging and, well, lacking in purpose.
What Do We Want?
There is actually an overwhelming amount of researches that show that we are naturally bad at knowing what we want. More often than not, what we want at this very moment is impaired by what we don't currently have. If you are struggling to pay the bills, then you probably want a high-paying job; if you have a job that you feel stuck at, then you may want to travel full-time. However, without actually practicing what we want, you won’t know al the details of it. Therefore, you don't really know if you want that lifestyle until you have actually lived it.
A good exercise to do here is to picture yourself in 10, 15, or 20 years from now, and think of an ideal lifestyle and test it. The usual ideology is that you work really hard, you retire as soon as possible, then you just enjoy life, sit by the beach, and drink cocktails forever. But once you, let's say take a month off work and trial this idea, you will soon realize that doing nothing but nap and sipping on cocktails isn't really that fun. But imagine how much worse it would be if you had worked your whole life just to realize that the end goal you have been chasing for the past 40 years is the wrong one.
My Proposal for a Meaningful Life
Like 99% of us, I am still figuring out what I want to do with my life. At different crossroads of my life, I often find myself thinking about what really is the best route to take. However, as I seek more and more advice from the most reliable source in the world, the internet, I find myself a moment of enlightenment from a simple question that can uncover many desires that you don't actually know you had, which is: "If money isn't an issue, what would you be doing?"
It really doesn't matter what you want to do, or what that "thing" is. It doesn't matter if you want to be a TikTok Star, YouTuber, Photographer, Graphic Designer, whatever it is, devote yourself to it. It may sound like I live in fairyland rather than reality, but the truth is: it is 2021, the notion of a "real job" is slowly fading. Remember when people laugh at the idea of becoming a gamer, streamer, or YouTuber? But once more and more of these talented individuals started to make bank from doing what they love, it is now a socially accepted occupation. Therefore, the baseline of the thought here is: find something that you are really interested in, and get really good at it.
You, who are reading this, if you are struggling to find purpose in what you do, go find what you want to do with your life if money is not a deciding factor and devote yourself to it. You should then FULLY self-identify at that particular "thing" whether it is a photographer, streamer, TikTok star, or whatever. And lastly, figure out the steps, as small as possible, and focus on just getting 1% better or closer to the goal every. single. day.
The process is a long one, and there is, ultimately, no guarantee for success. If the sole motivator for doing your thing is the success, trust me, it will subside. Instead, you should find a way to fall in love with the process of evolving and learning every single day and watch yourself strive on the journey of pursuing a life of freedom and happiness. And that is the mindset that puts you in the best position to achieve your goal.
Remember, anyone who has made a name for him or herself at something has always started at zero. At one point, Tom Brady has never thrown a football, LeBron James has once never touched a basketball, or Jeff once had 0 dollars in his bank account, but it didn't stop them from pursuing their dreams. Don't let your fear of failure, lack of experience, or uncertainty of the unknown ever stop you from creating a life that you want to live.
